Here is a compilation of nifty quotations I have picked up in my travels on the web. Please feel free to email me with better ones if you think these suck, but I tend to like most of them.

Attitudes and Life - about how to look at life
Friendship - why friends are important
Success and Triumph - and failure and mediocrity
Competition, War, and Challenge - and the art of war
Leadership - lead, follow or leave
Science - evolve, damnit!
Work - you love to hate it
Education and Learning - gotta have it
Art and Music - expression is everything
Love - a bucket o' worms
Marriage - very different from the previous category
Men and Women - dogs and psychos, mars and venus
Alcohol - nuff said
Government and Politics - the art of opinion polls
Quayle Quotes - was this man really our vice president?
Holidays - lovely interruptions to real life
Pessimism and Realism - murphy's bumper stickers
American Stupidity - face it...this country has its head up its #&%
Humor - quotes that couldn't go anywhere except here
Final Thought - in conclusion...

Attitudes and Life

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity."
--George Bernard Shaw

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
--Albert Einstein

"The best way to escape from your problem is to solve it."
--Robert Anthony

"You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it."
--Robert Anthony

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."
--Will Rogers

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
--Antonio Smith

"If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people."
--Virginia Woolfe

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived."
--Captain Jean-Luc Picard

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
--William Jennings Bryan

"You must love people and use money, not love money and use people."
--Tom Luu

"The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!"
--Mark Russell [Note: in this context, this quote is not ment to have any political connotations. If you know anything about spirit/mind/body health (psychoneuroimmunology) then you know that it is possible to say no to illness by changing your stress response.]

"When all is said and done; the unselfish acts of what we have done, without asking for anything in return, will have said it all!" --Brian Jett

"Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."
--Danny, American History X

"Age is important only if you're cheese and wine."

"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts."
--Charles Dickens

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
--W. Somerset Maugham

"Life is like a mine field, you must walk through it one step at a time, but with imagination. Once you shut down your imagination and step in the wrong direction, things blow up."
--Ty Howard

"Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable."
--Lord Chesterfield

"For me, the principal fact of life is the free mind. For good and evil, man is a free creative spirit. This produces the very queer world we live in, a world in continuous creation and therefore continuous change and insecurity. A perpetually new and lively world, but a dangerous one, full of tragedy and injustice. A world in everlasting conflict between the new idea and the old allegiances, new arts and new inventions against the old establishment."
--Joyce Cary

"Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it. You simply give to others a bit of yourself—a thoughtful act, a helpful idea, a word of appreciation, a lift over a rough spot, a sense of understanding, a timely suggestion. You take something out of your mind, garnished in kindness out of your heart, and put it into the other fellow's mind and heart."
--Charles H. Burr

Friendship

"Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well."

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
--Winnie the Pooh

"Pick your friends like you would pick a diamond. They all start off unpolished, but with a little work, they can become a sparkle in your life."
--Gary Harrington

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
--Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."
--Albert Camus

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
--Albert Schweitzer

"I am treating you as my friend, asking you to share my present minuses in the hope that I can ask you to share my future pluses."
--Katherine Mansfield

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."
--Mencius

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable."

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

"If you shoud die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."
--Stone Temple Pilots

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."
--Dave Matthews Band

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."
--Tim McGraw

Success and Triumph

"She climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong."
--Mae West

"More look up and admire the stars. A champion climbs a mountain and grabs one."
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Moving fast is not the same as going somewhere."
--Robert Anthony

"Ideals are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring men on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny."
--Carl Schurz

"The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried."
--Bud Wilkinson

"Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever."
--Anonymous

"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
--Joseph Heller

"Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places."

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little."
--Edmund Burke

"There are no secrets to success: Don't waste time looking for them. Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for who you work, and persistence."
--General Colin Powell

"Luck: when preparation and opportunity meet."
--Pierre Trudeau

"If you are experiencing resistance, you must exert some persistence in order to improve your existence."
--Malcolm X. Trotter

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."
--John F. Kennedy

Competition, War, Challenge

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war."
--Napoleon Bonaparte

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."
--Joseph Heller

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."
--Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The minute you start talking about what you are going to do if you lose, you have lost."
--George Schultz

Leadership

"The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it."
--Theodore Roosevelt

"Do not follow where the path my lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
--George Bernard Shaw

"When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters—one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity."
--John F. Kennedy quoting Saul David Alinsky in 1959

"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were."
--John F. Kennedy

Science

"A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it."
--Max Planck

"Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination."
--John Dewey

"The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them."
--William Bragg

Work

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
--H.D. Thoreau

"The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work."
--Richard Bach

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."
--Muhammad Ali

"It is not real work unless you would rather be doing something else."
--J. M. Barrie

Education and Learning

"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandonded this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."
--Douglas Adams in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

"Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake after you've made it again."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

"Education is a weapon, whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed."
--Joseph Stalin

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
--Malcolm S. Forbes

"The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet."
--Aristotle

"Education is an important element in the struggle for human rights. It is the means to help our children and thereby increase self-respect. Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today."
--Malcolm X

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy."
--John Adams in a letter to his wife, dated 1780

"The trouble with using experience as a teacher is that the exam comes before the lesson."

"For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong."
--Henry L. Mencken

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
--Alvin Toffler

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."
--Woody Allen

Art and Music

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."
--Henry Ward Beecher

"Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in."
--Amy Lowell

"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
--George Jean Nathan

Love

"Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other."

"Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another."
--Ayn Rand

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
--Unknown

"Love is not blind - it sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less."
--Will Moss

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"A man wants to be a woman's first love; a woman wants to be a man's last romance." --Oscar Wilde

"Love has reasons that reason knows not."
--St. Augustine

"Know love, know happiness. No love, no happiness."
--Unknown

"All love is sweet. Given or returned. Common as light is love, and its familiar voice wearies not ever... they who inspire it are most fortunate, as I am now, but those who feel it most are happier still."
--Percy Shelly

"Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired."
--Robert Frost

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
--H. L. Mencken

"Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important."
--Lisa Hoffman

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting, sex raises some pretty interesting questions."
--Woody Allen

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."
--Jane Austen

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."
--Unknown

"The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray."

"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best."
--William Makepeace Thackeray

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love."
-Sophocles

"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears."
--Woodrow Wyatt

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
-- Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."
--Jacques Benigne Bossuel

Marriage

"Nothing anybody tells you about marriage helps."

"When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason."

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished."
--Zsa Zsa Gabor

"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one."

"Until I got married, I was my own worst enemy."

"I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me."
--Dick Martin

"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
--Song title

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."
--P. J. O'Rourke

"Instead of remarrying, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
--Lewis Grizzard

"My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met."
--Rodney Dangerfield

Men and Women

"One good thing about being a man is that men don't have to talk to each other."

"A man is as young as the woman he feels."

"Anyone who says he can see thru women is missing a lot."
--Groucho Marx

"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital."
--Aaron Levenstein

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
--Faith Whittlesey

"It's better to copulate than never."
-Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry."

Alcohol

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
--Frank Sinatra

"Do everything sober that you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. "
--Ernest Hemingway

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. "
--Dean Martin

"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
--Anonymous

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
--Catherine Zandonella

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
--Anonymous

"I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings."
--Unknown

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
--W.C. Fields

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
--W.C. Fields

"Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder."
--Anonymous

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
--Oscar Wilde

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
--Henny Youngman

" Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa

" 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
--Stephen Wright

" Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
--Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
--Dave Barry

"I drink to make other people interesting."
--George Jean Nathan

Government and Politics

"The world is run by C students."

"In America anyone can become President. That's one of the risks you take."
--Adlai Stevenson.

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a congressman, but I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
--G.B. Shaw

"The best defense against usurpatory government is an assertive citizenry."
--William F. Buckley, Jr.

"The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!"
--Mark Russell

"America has been discovered many times before, but it had always been hushed up before."
--Oscar Wilde

"My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference."
--Harry S. Truman

"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."
--Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa

"The most imaginative fiction written today is in tax returns."

"The budget should be balanced. Public debt should be reduced. The arrogance of officialdom should be tempered, and assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt."
--Marcus Tullius Cicero

"The most sacred of the duties of a government [is] to do equal and impartial justice to all its citizens."
--Thomas Jefferson

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
--Jay Leno

"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
(2) Advising the President.
(3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin"
--David Letterman

"A penny saved is a congressional oversight."

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
--Shirley MacLaine

Dan Quayle and People Who Think Like Him

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people"
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind the Los Angeles Riots

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. "
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste"

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
--Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
--Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
--Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results."
--Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
--Charles De Gaulle

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas

"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody."
-- Richard M. Nixon

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
--Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
--Samuel Goldwyn

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
--General William Westmoreland

"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
--Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

Holidays

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."
--Unknown

"Christmas is revenge for the Crucifixion."

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
--Phyllis Diller

Pessimism and Realism

"Why is it we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved?"
--Mark Twain

"Old age is fifteen years older than I am."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Whenever I'm torn between two evils, I always take the one I've never tried."
--Mae West

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
--Steven Wright

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
--Steven Wright

"The wages of sin are unreported."

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
--Franklin P. Jones

"If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done."

"His absence is good company."
--Scottish proverb

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, while the pessimist fears this is true."

"If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside."
--Robert Cringely

"Never let a copier know you're in a hurry."

"The computer is down. I hope it's something serious."

"The goal of inanimate objects is to resist man and to ultimately defeat him."

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
--Mark Twain

"The easiest way to get praise is to die."
--Italian proverb

"I'm always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact."
--Diane Sawyer

"Speak the truth to your boss, and the truth shall set you free."

"If you want to make a small fortune, invest a large fortune."

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."
--Oscar Wilde

"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a police car in it."

"If you have any problems at all, don't hesitate to shut up."

"A good deed never goes unpunished."

"A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!"

"What's on your mind, if you'll allow the overstatement."

"For peace and quiet, get a phoneless cord."

"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"

"Getting caught is the mother of invention."

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age."

"You have to be an antique to appreciate them."

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."
--Kin Hubbard

"Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family living in another city."
--George Burns

"If you want to look young and slim, hang out around old, fat people."

"Be true to your teeth or your teeth will be false to you."

"Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours."

American Stupidity

"On Thanksgiving day all over America, people sit down to dinner at the same time. Halftime."

"We tolerate shapes in human beings that would horrify is in a horse."

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit."
--Noël Coward

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."
--H. L. Mencken

"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."
--Albert Einstein

"If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?"
--Richard M. Nixon

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."

"Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."
--Gore Vidal

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
--P. J. O'Rourke

"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television."

"When it comes to foreign foods, the less authentic the better."

"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other."

"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things nobody wants is giving America a renewed sense of purpose."
--Andy Rooney

Humor

"After years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said 'No hablo ingles.'"

"Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the other one percent a bad name."

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, World Future Society Convention, 1977

"You may already be a loser."
--Junk mail addressed to Rodney Dangerfield

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
--Groucho Marx

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
--Groucho Marx

"Better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loved a tall."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
--Douglas Adams

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
--Douglas Adams

"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"
--Woody Allen

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
--Movie: Manhattan Murder Mystery

"I wasn't kidding. I do have a test today. It's on European Socialism. What's the big deal? I'm not European. I don't plan on becoming European. So why should I care
if they're socialists? They could be facist, anarchist pigs. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car."
--Movie: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves."
--Homer Simpson

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
--Mark Twain

"We had a quicksand box in the back yard. Eventually I was an only child."

"Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you snore alone."

And Finally...

"If you have something very important to say, please start at the end."